I just submitted this Company of Heroes support request to THQ support: "Every time I go back to this game, it's the same thing: I can't run it without logging in, I can't log in without patching first, the patch installs but doesn't appear to do anything, I download the patch outside the game and install it, I try to log in but my previously-working username and password are rejected, and both the Register and Forgot Password buttons are grayed out. Every time this happens, I waste literally hours trying to figure out what the %#&@ is going on, and end up wiping the game and reinstalling. Please note: your efforts at copy protection (the clear source of all these issues) only serve to frustrate and annoy paying customers. Pirates don't care and are not affected. No amount of money you might conceivably have saved by (supposedly) thwarting pirates is vastly outweighed by lost sales due to customer anger. Please stop it. All you are doing is forcing legitimate customers to find pirated versions that don't require all of this crap. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. Meanwhile, what do you suggest, short of a total reinstall (he asked, knowing full well that you won't be able to help)?"

Will they even respond? I doubt it. Even if they do, they won't be even slightly helpful. I'll report anything they do say here.

Update 2013Jan29: They never responded. Instead, they went bankrupt.

Update 2013Mar06: I finally got this response: